Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Mums-in-waiting




On a single bus ride in the rush hour crowd one morning, I learnt how it is hard for people to wait. Myself included as I refresh my Facebook feed again, tap on the bus app and fiddle with my shades in impatience. A young mum scolding her toddler at the bus stop for waking up late and eating breakfast so slowly. A young man in a hoodie shaking his leg while checking his watch every minute or so. And as if time could not go any slower, the bus App showed a two-minute delay! Unbelievable.


The initial title of this post was No, I'm Not (Yet) Pregnant



Do we intend to have more children?

Now that humblet is past two, I suppose it is natural for people to ask if we are planning to have another child. And the answer is a resounding, YES. But no, I'm not pregnant. Well, not yet.

It took me a long time to get from 'no, I'm not planning on having any children' to 'oh right, I'm pregnant, guess I'm gonna be a mum'. You can read all about that in one of the first blog posts on humblet. While the conviction to have the first kid took a long time, the decision to have another child was matter-of-fact. We definitely want humblet to grow up with sibling/s, now that she is feeding her Lego people and telling her stuffed animals bedtime stories.


You might have hated your sibling growing up, but they teach you life lessons no classroom can. They teach you self-awareness, because they are the only ones who will tell you the truth. Especially when you're about to walk out of the house with an awful clothing combination. At moments like these, I can only be grateful I had a younger brother to warn me about myself. Then there's humility, patience, camaraderie and a host of other great things you need siblings for. 

We had planned for Mya to have a sibling before her second birthday. But getting pregnant, I learnt, is not something you can schedule. And so we wait.




Many well-meaning folk have come up to us to offer their wise words of advice. One camp tries to convince us why we should have another child as soon as possible. Sitting us down for coffee to “encourage” us in private, or sending us articles through Facebook. Not sure why we need this persuasion, but just to set the record straight – we are planning to have at least one other kid. Just in case you didn’t catch the message in the earlier paragraphs.

Another camp skips the niceties completely and dives straight into how we should go about having another child. They tell us which herbs to take, they recommend doctors the position to assume (what?) and even the most reliable Apps to download. Woah guys, erm thanks? But as much as we’d like to have another child, we are not that much in a hurry.

We are happy to wait.

Weird but true. This period of waiting has been a happy one, while it is not the same as being pregnant and expectantly waiting for the child to be born, we are glad to have extended amounts of time with our only child. We love travelling with her, even though we have to pay a full fee for her air ticket now, rats. We love watching her make friends with random strangers, try out different sports and activities, as well as follow anyone who gives her food.

As Humblet transits to school, the shift is subtler and not because mummy has to take care of your younger sibling. When she comes home, we spend time together – cooking, playing, reading. Just the two of us. With dad around on weekends, we explore outdoors together. Cycling for hours, eating in between of course. Picking up leaves, rescuing snails and making friends with cafĂ© owners. Just the three of us.

Honestly, we do not know how long the wait will be. But it’s okay. Every season is a season to be enjoyed. If you’re waiting for your first child, go for another late-night movie with your husband (while you both can). If you’re waiting for an ideal spouse, go on a holiday alone somewhere (while you can). If you, like us, are waiting for your next child, enjoy every moment with your firstborn, giving him or him a hundred present. And need I mention, while you can.


May you find much joy in your waiting! 

Enjoy,
Amy

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